Document sans titre

DROWNING

"Anyone, Anyone"

I'm not sure of anyone, anyone.
but I've got plans.
I'm not asking for everything, but sure, I could use a hand.
Get a little anxious sometimes
you'll be gone and I'll be left behind
get a little nervous sometimes
it'll be my queue and I'll forget my lines
get a little lost look, as I'm staring from the corner of my eye.
Never really mastered disinterest.
I can't see how the way that you leave me only makes us close
I must be out of touch.
I won't ask you to give up on the things that seem to keep you gone
but I could be gone too.
feel a little sorry sometimes, you're not here when I am writing
feels a little awkward sometimes, you won't talk but we're not fighting
you hold on to your secrets, and I'm not privy to whats on your mind
but I cannot help but feel tired, so tired, so tired

*******

"Drowning"

And we're drowning you out
in boasts of defection
if everything was up to me I would be gone by the first sign
the first sign of hope I'd be packed up and out of my way.

And time has been spread so thin
and it's just hours till the day begins.
And the things that are keeping you here are not keeping me here
and the things that are keeping you here will keep me away.

And you'll be sorry
isn't that what they'll say.
Don't follow your heart cause it just seems to get in your way.

And don't ever leave here
and mope at your leisure
and straighten out your crease here
and truth is in a tall beer.

Are you drowning your fears
in a glass of deception?
When everything is easy then everything will be ok .
When everything is easy then you won't be sad that you stayed.

And time has been spread so thin
and its just hours till the day begins.
And the things that are keeping you here are not keeping me here
and the things that are keeping you here will keep me away.

And you'll be sorry
isn't that what they'll say.
Don't follow your heart cause it just seems to get in your way.

And don't ever leave here
and mope at your leisure
and straighten out your crease here
and truth is in a tall beer.

*******

"For Justin"

It's been a year now since you were here now
And I've been trying to heal inside
Dedications of how I placed
And I see your resemblance in my face
And on our birthday I said an extra wish for you (for you)

And I have learned so much since you been gone
And I have done so little for so long
So now I'll settle up my grievances
And focus on the savory
And wave all these discrepancies away
And I'll figure out these misconceptions
Give out faith at my discretion
Live a life that you would think was sane (sane)

Displaying changes
That they have made
And I wonder if you really wanted it this way
And in your memory they even hung a plaque for you (for you)

And I have learned so much since you been gone
And I have done so little for so long.
So now I'll settle up these grievances
And focus on the savory
And wave all these discrepancies away.
And I'll figure out these misconceptions
Give out faith at my discretion
Live a life that you would think was sane (sane)

THE SWISS ARMY ROMANCE

"Screaming Infidelities"

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
and this bottle of beast is taking me home.
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
But you're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know, who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again.
There is not a word that I comprehend,
except when you signed it
"I will love you always and forever"

As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder,
how you're making out,
and as for me I wish that I was anywhere
with anyone making out

I'm missing your laugh, how did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending.
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets,
and I am alone, in my defeat.
I wish I knew you were safely at home.
I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder,
how your making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere
with anyone
making out.

Your hair, it's everywhere,
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
[x4]

**********

"The Sharp Hint Of New Tears"

On the way home,
this car hears my confessions.
I think tonight I'll take the long way.
This weather.
The wind outside is biting.
It has left me feeling tired & exposed.
You've been asking me to bleed.
It seems these kinds of questions
come too easy to you now.
Your lack of shame comes naturally.
I should not be suprised.
I should have seen it sooner.

You expect me to apologize
for things that you've done wrong.
While you're inciting others.
You're owning up to nothing
and I wish that I was gone,
because you're not going anywhere.

This damp air
is fighting my defroster.
My sighs they ring victorious
& fog this tinted glass.
It's clouded
& so is my head.
The hint of these new tears are sharp.
I try to hold them back.
It's useless.
I am useless against them.
They are beating me with ease.

On the way home
this car hears my confessions.
I think tonight I'll take the long way.

********

"Living In Your Letters"

I'm always assuming the worst,
but you're going on none the less
& there's nothing to cusion your heart led fall.
Letters from further away
keep pulling me close to home.
And there's something to cushion my callous sighs.
And I know that you hope for
longer good-byes
embracing for forever
and falling in your eyes.

Pouring over photographs.
I'm living in your letters.
Breathe deeply from this envelope
it smells like you & I can't be
without that scent. It's filling me
with all you mean to me.

Continually failing these trials
but you stand by me nonetheless
& you won't let me sink
though I'm beggin you.
Phone calls from further away
& messages on my machine,
but I don't ever tell you this distance
seems terrible.
There is no need to test my heart,
with useless space.
These roads go on forever,
there will always be a place, for you.. in my heart

So I'll hit the pavement
it's gotta be better than waiting
& pushing you far away
cause I'm scared.
So I'll take my chances
& head on my way up there.
Cause turning to you is like falling in love when you're ten.

********

"The Swiss Army Romance"

Sleep with all the lights on.
You're not so happy.
You're not secure.
You're dying to look cute in your blue jeans,
but you're plastic just like everyone.
You're just like everyone.
And that face you paint is pressed
impressing most of us as permanent
and I'd like to see you undone.
College night will draw the crowds.
Dorms unload & your heading out.
Here is your moment to shine.

Making up a history.
It's nothing from the life you lead
but man, will they buy all your lines.

Sleep with all the sheets off
bearing your mattress
bearing your soul.
And you're dying to look smooth with your tattoos
but you're searching just like everyone
could be anyone.
And the friends that you have are the best
impressing most of us as permanent
and I'd like to see you undone.
Youth's the most unfaithful mistress.
Still we forge ahead to miss her.
Rushing our moment to shine.

Making up a history,
It's nothing from the life you lead
but man will they buy all your lines.

We're not twenty-one,
but the sooner we are,
the sooner the fun will begin,
so get out your fake eyelashes,
and fake i.d's,
& real disasters ensue,
it's cool to take these chances.
It's cool to fake romances
& grow up fast.

********

"Turpentine Chaser"

This paint has been tasting of lead
& their chips will fall as they may,
but it's not just my finish that is peeling,
& it is not alone fleeing these walls.

Well sooner of later this cold
it's gonna break
& our hands will be warm again,
but all I want is not to need you now.
And sooner or later this cold
it's gonna break
& our words will be heard again,
but all I want are vows of silence now.

This turpentine chaser's got kick
& the rag that it's soaked in is rich.
The fumes aide the pace of my cleaning
& as soon as I'm done I am gone.

The frightening facts
we've been facing our backs
for so long now
are begging for eyes
to bear witness to lies
& indifference.

Now we're saying aloud
the things we've declared in our silence.
The new coats of paint will not reaquaint
broken hearts to broken homes.

********

"A Plain Morning"

It is yet to be determined,
but the air is thick,
& my hope is feeling worn.
I'm missing home,
& I'm glad you're not a part of this,
there are parts of me that will be missed.
And the phone is always dead to me,
so I can't tell you the temperature is dropping
& it feels like

it is colder than it ought to be in March
& I still have a day or two ahead of me
till I'll be heading home,
into your arms again.
And the people here are asking after you.
It doesn't make it easier.
It doeasn't make it easier to be away.

I'd like to hire a plane.
I'd see you in the morning,
when the day is fresh.
I'm coming home again.
It's warmer where you're waiting.
It feels more like July.
Ther's pillows in their cases
& one of those is mine.
And you wrote the words I love you,
& sprayed it with perfume.
It is better than the fire is
to heat this lonely room.
It is warmer where you're waiting
It feels more like July.

*******

"Age Six Racer"

So long sweet summer,
I stumbled upon you and gracefully basked in your rays.
So long sweet slumber.
I fell into you now you're gracefully falling away.

Hey thanks, thanks for that summer.
It is cold where your going
I hope that your heart is always warm.
I gave you the best that I had.
You pased on my letters
& passed on the best that I had.

I hate the winter in Lexington.

*******

"Again I Go Unnoticed"

So quiet
another wasted night,
the television steals the conversation
exhale,
another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.

Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feeel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
casue I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?

Close lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion,
your grip
another time, is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.

I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of your eye
won't be the only way you'll look at me then.

*******

"Ender Will Save Us All"

It's just like you to contest
you wear it like a label on your breast
don't you see what this takes of me?
A certain callousness complies
with your charm & in your pride
a hopeful look draped in despise.

I want to give you
whatever you need.
What is it you need?
Is it what I need?
I want to give you
whatever you need.
What is is you need?
Is it within me?

It's hard to explain how I am getting by
on so little from you.
It's hard to believe that I would let myself
get so wrapped in you.
There's got to be something that would
be worthwhile for me to give to you.
We need a connection but you
seem to push me far away from you.

The harder I push the further I fall.
Well you don't mind me being headstrong.
But you don't want to sing along.
Maybe it's trite but I can always be wrong
Try not to be wrong.

********

"Shirts and Gloves"

When I'm back from the road
and you're out on it
& I'm tired of this distance
& I believe it's over-rated.
And this phone tag game is endless
the novelty is wearing
I'm hoping time will pass
without any assistance
or convincing.

Road rules apply
there's so much action,
you're getting busy.
I'll call your cellular phone
to tell you TV night was
lonely without you
& so am I...
so am I.

It seems our day keeps falling on a leap year.

So many high points on this last leg.
I can't wait to recount them
it seems like nothing's happened
until I've shared them with you.
The note that you had called
says youre half a day away
& you are heading home
just in time for me to leave.

Road rules apply
there's so much action
I'm getting busy.
So make sure that I'm up to date
on TV night,
I hate to miss out.

I think I miss you most
on Wednesdays
& Saturdays.

It seems our day keeps falling on a leap year.

********

"Hold On"

She had a history of killing herself
I had a habit of dying
I think she gave me something to live for
I guess I helped her pass the time

And I had a vision of seeing things straight
She had the heart of a liar
I never saw her leave me once
She never felt me beside her

It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me [x6]

She had a history of killing herself
I had a habit of dying
I think she gave me something to live for
I guess I helped her pass her time

And I had a vision of seeing things straight
She had the heart of a liar
I never saw her leaving me once
She never felt me beside her

It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me

*********

"This Is A Forgery"

This is a forgery, this is a forgery
Every single word is plagiarized.
Copied twice and thrice inscribed
This is a forgery. There is a path,
and to get where its leading,
you've got to be sharp and never bend easy
This is an enemy, this is an enemy
Compliments and chemisty.
Cavalier and so charming
This isnt everything, this isnt everything.
I had a fit and you had a feeling.
There was a path, and to get where its leading
you head to be sharp, you couldnt swerve side to side.
I was a razor and you were a straight line.
This is a travesty, this is a travesty,
every sentiment has been contrived.
Palatable and so refined. Sugar sweet to appetize.
I had a fit and you had a feeling.
There was a path and to get where its leading
you head to be sharp, you couldnt swerve from side to side.
I was a razor and you were a straight line.
This is a forgery, this is a forgery.
Every single word is plagiarized.
Copied twice and thrice inscribed.
This is a forgery. And we were looking out, for some shining light,
but it was casket black, so we would search all night.

SO IMPOSSIBLE

"For You To Notice"

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
Where I would impress you with every single word I said
It would come out insightful,
or brave,
or smooth,
or charming
And you'd want to call me

And I would be there every time you need me
I'd be there every time

But for now I'll look so longingly waiting
for you to want me,
for you to need me,
for you to notice me.

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
Where I would impress you with every single word I said
It would come out insightful,
or brave,
or smooth,
or charming
And you'd want to call me

And I would be there every time you need me
I'd be there every time

But for now I'll look so longingly waiting
for you to want me,
for you to need me,
for you to notice me.

********

"So Impossible"

So she says
"Everyone's going to the party,
won't you come if I come
with a friend for your friend?
I'd be so pleased to see you
out of the classroom wearing the smile that I'll bring you.
I was hoping to learn a few things like..
Do you do you like dishing the dirt
on the whole class &
talking the big smack &
playing the fool &
wearing all of the latest fashions
or bucking the new trends
wearing your old threads.
If you like coffee in the evening.
These are a few things that I'd like to know
that I'd like to know"

So I said...
"I've been scheduled to work but I'll call in
and my friend isn't busy
he'd be happy to join me
and maybe my friend
and your friend
will hit it off or maybe we will?"

I'm dying to know
do you do you like dreaming of things
so impossible or only the practical
or ever the wild or waiting through all your bad bad days
just to end them with
someone you care about
and do you like making out
and long drives and brown eyes
and guys that just
don't quite fit in
yeah do you like them
So yes, I'll see you there.

*******

"Remember To Breathe"

She fixes her lips they
Always look perfect
never a smudged line
never too much
I try on my blue shirt
she told me she liked it
she wonders what I'll wear
she knows just what she'll wear
she always wears blue
Some sneakers or flip flops
I'm starting to panic
remember she asked you
remember to breathe
and the memory fades
we'll be okay
okay [x2]
Alright [x6]

*********

"Hands Down"

Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted;
just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe from the earth and all the stupid questions..
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...
so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and let you in.
And you stood at the door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.

THE PLACE YOU HAVE COME TO FEAR THE MOST

"The Brilliant Dance"

So this is odd,
the painful realization that has all gone wrong.
And nobody cares at all,
and nobody cares at all.

So you buried all your lover's clothes
and burned the letters lover wrote,
but it doesn't make it any better.
Does it make it any better?
And the plaster dented from your fist
in the hall where you had your first kiss
reminds you that the memories will fade.

So this is strange,
our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance
where nobody leads at all,
where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down
and the ringing from this empty sound
is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
and thinking's just too much to ask
and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.

This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.

*******

"Screaming Infidelities"

As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder,
how you're making out,
and as for me I wish that I was anywhere
with anyone making out

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder,
how your making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere
with anyone
making out.

Your hair, it's everywhere,
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
[x4]

*******

"The Best Deceptions"

I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souvenirs.
I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights,
and the cool guys that you spent them with.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

Don't you see, don't you see,
that the charade is over?
And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.
So kiss me hard
'cause this will be the last time that I let you.
You will be back someday
and this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service
to keeping you away.

I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.
Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing.
I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.
too late to be gracious
and you do not warrant long good-byes.
You're calling too late.

*******

"This Ruined Puzzle"

This ruined puzzle is beige with the pieces all face down
so the placing goes slowly.
The pictures of anything other than it's meant to be.
But the hours they creep,
the patterns repeat.
Don't be concerned, you know I'll be fine on my own.
I never said "don't go".

I've written a note,
it's pressed between pages
that you've marked to find your way back.
It says "Does he ever get the girl?"
But what if the pages stay pressed,
the chapters unfinished,
the stories too dull to unfold?
Does he ever get the girl?

This basement's a coffin
I'm buried alive.
I'll die in here just to be safe.
I'll die in here just to be safe.
'Cause you're gone
I get nothing
and you're off with barely a sigh.
I never said "Good-bye"

Does he ever get the girl?

*******

"Saints And Sailors"

This is where I say I've had enough
and no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound,
a trophy display of bruises
and I don't believe that I'm getting any better.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
and I'm thinking awful things
and I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment
is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

Wandering the house
like I've never wanted out
and this is about as social as I get now.
And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
'cause they would never do,
I would never do.

So don't be a liar,
don't say that "everything's working"
when everything's broken.
And you smile like a saint
but you curse like a sailor
and your eyes say the joke's on me.

*******

"The Good Fight"

Consider the odds,
consider the obvious.
The martyr is meaningless,
the campaign has died.
In the planning stages and the fallen faces
are the singular proof that it was ever alive.

This purchased rebellion has been outdated,
denounced and rescinded and left to die championless.
I begged you not to go.
I begged you, I pleaded.
Claimed you as my only hope
and watched the floor as you retreated.

Hope has sprung a perfect dive
a perfect day, a perfect lie.
A slowly crafted monologue conceding your defeat.

Does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight?
Basking in your victory,
hollow and alone
to boast your bitter bragging rights to anyone who'll listen.
While you're left with nothing tangible to gain.

******

"Standard Lines"

Which of the bold faced lies will we use?
I hope that you're happy, you really deserve it,
this will be the best for us both in the end.

But your taste still lingers on my lips like I just placed them upon yours
and I starve for you.
But this new diet's liquid
and dulling to the senses.
And it's crude but it will do.

Which of the standard lines will we use?
I've been meaning to call you. I've just been so busy.
We'll catch up soon.
Let's make it a point to.

*******

"Again I Go Unnoticed"

So quiet
another wasted night,
the television steals the conversation
exhale,
another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.

Close lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion,
your grip
another time, is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.

******

"The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most"

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And covered with a perfect shell
Such a charming, beautiful exterior
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect posture, but you're barley scraping by
But you're barely scraping by

This is one time, this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And hidden in the public eye
Such a stellar monument to loneliness
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect make-up, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by...

Well this is one time, well this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

And you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all..or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

********

"This Bitter Pill"

Walking away.
It's not the same as running.
Is it to you know that you've run in this ground.
And you say take this.
This medicine is just what you deserve.
Swallow, choke, and die.

And this bitter pill is leaving you
with such an angry mouth.
One that's void of all discretion
such an awful tearing sound.
With it's measure only equal by the power of my stare
glaring over you and over you this feeling of despair
is never wearing out.

It's wearing off
and it's leaving you with such a heavy heart
and a head to match.
The bottle is waiting
the cap is twisted begging to be used
and so are you.